I have a personality on the Borderline of a lot of ‘issues’. There are 9 distinguishing characteristic categories, 5 of which are necessary for a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis. Where do I fall, personally? Well, let’s see…
√ CHECK 1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
√ CHECK 2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
√ CHECK 3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
√ CHECK 4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
√ CHECK 5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
√ CHECK 6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
√ CHECK 7. chronic feelings of emptiness
√ CHECK 8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant
anger, recurrent physical fights)
√ CHECK 9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
9 for 9. Aren’t I special? Not, really. The next question you’re probably asking yourself is, what exactly are those impulsive behaviors? Wouldn’t you like to know. I’ll share… eventually.
But for the record, here we go with my ordered list of functional brain ‘disorders’…. Dissociative Dissorder (depersonalization/derealization), Eating Disorder (bulimia), Major/Clinical Depression, General Anxiety Disorder, Self-Harm, kleptomania, sexual promiscuity, and a slew of other fun and exciting things that draw people to me like flies to honey.
Seriously, I don’t understand it. I attract people like mad and I see no reason why, except that I am physically appealing. Oh, and I don’t emote, so all of the aforementioned issues? No one knows unless I make an effort to tell them. Who would like to wager a guess at how often that happens? Lower. Looower. There you go. My family and a handful of very, very close friends know. The rest of the world be damned. Oh, and you. Doesn’t that make you special.