Emergency appointment with my psychiatrist. Had to change meds. To give you an idea of me; I’m 5’3” and very athletic. I’ve always been what people consider thin. I work out 5-6 days a week and maintain a very good muscle tone. Also having been eating disordered since I was very young I am incredibly conscious of my body, and the changes in it. My body image is often unstable, a grasp I hold tenuously. The medication that my psych had me on made my weight skyrocket. Ok, so I only gained like 15 pounds, but for someone like me, it felt like my world had come crashing down. My body image is destroyed. All these years of hard work and careful maintenance, gone. I’d done a fair amount of research into this drug and weight gain is a very common side effect. On the one hand I’m incredibly pissed off that my dr. would put me on something that he knew was likely to make me gain weight when he also knew I was eating disordered. On the other hand, I also understand that he thought my problems were urgent enough that the side effects would be less an issue than the potential benefits of the medication. I stopped taking my medication. Cold. I was worried that I’d have a slew of bad withdrawal but so far, nothing, and it’s been almost a week.
I’ve been on Lexapro, which worked for my anxiety and depression but destroyed my sex drive. Correction, my libido was still incredibly high but I could no longer orgasm. Problem. I quit taking it.
I was on Zoloft which removed my anxiety but did nothing for my depression. Fail.
Symbyax, (combination anti-psychotic/SSRI) which stabilized my mood swings but still left me at a baseline of mild depression on the one hand, but in destroying my body image sent me spiraling down in a different direction. Also, did nothing for my anxiety. Not to mention, even after insurance Rx coverage, a months supply cost me over $300. Fail.
He also has me on Trazadone, which is technically a mild antidepressant but prescribed to help people sleep. The dose I was on, didn’t help me sleep, so he upped that.
My new medication is Lamictal. Traditionally Lamictal is an anti-convulsant but with good results for bipolar II (which I’m not). Bipolar II is essentially chronic depression without the manic upswings, which is close enough to my problem. He said he expects no side effects. It will balance my mood AND my anxiety. Won’t effect my sex drive, bonus. And finally there has been next to no reported weight gain from it. Awesome. So here’s hoping this does more good then the meds I’ve tried before. I’m hopeful at least.
Oh the joys of the medication-go-round.