On the inside… the Psych ER Saga

Have you ever been to the Psych ER? It’s a shit hole wrapped in cellophane.

Back at the ranch is where I {somewhat vaguely} threatened Boring-Ex that I’d kill myself. He was a dick, he needed to know it. Didn’t mean I planned to act on it. Bad move.

Not only did I get an ambulance and the cops parked outside of my new apartment, I was freaking out that we’d get evicted after having just moved in. This is not a good first impression.

As soon as the Rescue Kids and the cop walked into my kitchen I flipped mental modes. I turned off the crazy and slipped into competent. Like a glove. Seamlessly. Doe eyed and sleepy cute, calmly explaining that it had been a misunderstanding, Boring-ex was overreacting. I almost had the cop convinced. I had him at the point where if I could call Boring-ex and have him take back the accusation, he’d accept I was fine. So there I am, on the phone with my ex, trying my damnedest to keep my shit together, still slightly drunk trying to reason with him about why this was ridiculous and he absolutely REFUSED to call off the cop. He could have, but oh no. So the cop was ‘forced’ to accept that I was not ok. He said I could either come voluntarily to the Psych ER or he would have to arrest me and process me and then take me to the ER.

By ‘voluntarily’ he meant; do it or I’m going to arrest you. What the fuck kind of choice is that?

Enough build up. So he walked me out to his patrol car, in my baggy sweatshirt and pajamas. My arm and leg bleeding.  At least I got to sit in the front.
By the time we got to the Psych ER, I had the cop convinced that I was fine, he actually apologized for having to do this, but there was no choice at this point. I shouldn’t have been there, I didn’t want to be and I was getting out as soon as possible. Lies, deceit and acting appropriately are no foreign things.
Down the long, glaringly white hallway we went. The first thing they did was pull the tie out of my sweatshirt and take my socks and shoes. To be replaced by vomit colored grippy socks. And that was it. I guess they were worried that I’d hang myself with a drawstring? Sure.

So what happened next? Not a bloody fucking thing. I shuffled into the ward in my grippy socks. They admitted me and made me sit in a little room with uncomfortable chairs and maddeningly blue lights that made everything look green and surreal. Except the horrid grippy socks. They were just grippy.

There was a cute girl in there with me and we chatted. What a match we would have made. Can you imagine the Craigslist Missed Connection? ‘Cute girl in the Psych ward. I was the one in the sweatshirt trying not to drip blood on the floor. Hope your drug problem is better. Call me!’

After she left she was replaced by Rage Guy. I tried not to make eye contact but we were the only lucid people in there. The homeless guy passed out on the floor and the druggie going through withdrawal rocking in the corner weren’t big with the conversation. He seemed fine at first. The longer he was there, the more worked up he got. I talked to him just to keep him calmed down. I couldn’t have cared less if he imploded but it was pretty clear that he’d have taken me with him when he Hulked out and tore the place down.

I was in more danger sitting in the friggin’ ward that I would have been wandering the streets! 



Tomorrow the Saga continues… What will Rage Guy do next? Stay Tuned for Part 2
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11 comments on “On the inside… the Psych ER Saga

  1. That sounds like it was an intense. :S Going to hospital for mental health issues is always an experience… They confiscated my iPod earphones in the Emergency Department, similar to what they took from you. I'm not going to hang myself with earphones, geez.BtF x

  2. @Btf… I wasn't expect them to take so much odd stuff. I couldn't even keep my own socks. It was alternatingly intense and incredibly dull. By the end of it I was more annoyed and sleep deprived than anything. Eventually I numbed to the whole thing. @Candle… Different for everyone I suppose. Another friend of mine had to go in, she checked herself in though, and she flipped out completely. idk.@Sympathetic… thanks =)

  3. i flipped out at the hospital manager when he insisted i go back home with my mum.(it wasn't a mental hosp. but a general free hospital where i went to see a therapist. I refused. And made quite the scene. I WANTED to be kept there for about two weeks till I felt back in control of myself. My brain was in total meltdown at that point and I was feeling very vulnerable. I left there, checked myself into a private mental hospital soon after. They didn't give me what I wanted, (in-patient status), so I went home and wanted to kill myself. Got out of that mind frame when I forced myself to snap out of it.

  4. @notme… haha, after school special for sure =) I really wonder why they wouldn't take you. If you threaten suicide they pretty much have to take you. Usually they fight to let you go once you're in. That's quite curious. Had I actually wanted to be there, there would have been no way they would have let me go. But that's the thing, if you see for yourself that you need that, then they should help you. It makes no sense that they would refuse. Your hospital system sucks. I'm sorry.

  5. ha. yeah. i sent you some of details via email. I think they were looking more at long-term help, i was looking for immediate assistance. The free hospital closed at 4pm and they sent me home with some emergency phone numbers. At the mental hospital they didn't consider me severe enough to stay and said being there 24/7 with the other inpatients would have made me worse.Meh, i gave up and went home. bleh. I kind of had that, 'No one's gonna help me so I gotta help myself' mindset and that stuck for another 2 and half years till my next breakdown. Oops. Fuck my stupid stubborness.

  6. notme… replied =) … I had that 'help myself' mentality for most of my life. I refused help or treatment up until a few years ago when I moved here and Evil-Ex was just too much for me to deal with on my own anymore. In a way I'm glad he pushed me so hard, b/c I needed help anyways.

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