If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.
~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Sorrows may submerge for a time but they never drown for good. Oddly, not only do they come back, but they make all my thoughts that much bleaker. Maybe not so odd as water logging your brain in a depressant. Expected even. And yet, I continue to do it. I’m still very upset about recent changes but this is the wrong way to cope with the issue. Drinking. Drinking heavily. In the bottle I feel fine for a time, reveling in a momentary escape from my madness, and then spend days afterward in a deep, dark place. Clawing my way back to the surface, when it was me that jumped into the hole in the first place. I’m worried about my drinking. I had resolved to stop and at the first upheaval I lost my resolve. I’m disgusted with myself. I’m making myself sick.The beautiful thing about new days, is they provide new opportunities to begin once more. Today I start again.