Hello lovely readers =) I hope everyone is having a wonderful morning. I’m starting to feel my energy returning. I have so many little updates and thoughts today but let us start with my research.
Schema therapy identifies 10 schema modes grouped into 4 broad categories: Child modes, Dysfunctional Coping modes, Dysfunctional Parent Modes, and the Healthy adult Mode.
2. Angry Child – this is the part that is enraged about unmet emotional needs and tends to act in anger without regard to consequences.
4. Happy Child – this is more of a healed state. Or the state that you hope your kids come to naturally as they grow up: where core emotional needs are currently met.
Coping Modes: These directly correlate to the maladaptive coping mechanisms we just talked about.
2. Detached Protector – This person withdraws psychologically from the pain of a schema by emotionally detaching, abusing substances, self-stimulating, avoiding people, or utilizing other forms of escape. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Personally I see this in myself more than most others in my day to day life. Therapist often refers to my Detached Protector as a way to shield myself from the hurt and pain that I am afraid is constantly looming.
3. Overcompensator – Here is where the person fights back either by mistreating others or by behaving in extreme ways in an attempt to disprove a schema. By nature of being extreme however, it proves to be dysfunctional.
Dysfunctional Parent Modes: These modes are where a person becomes like the parent that they’ve internalized.
1. Punitive Parent – This parent punishes one of the child modes for being “bad”.
2. Demanding Parent – This parent continually pushes and pressures the child to meet excessively high standards.
I often feel both of these modes. I’ve internalized my father’s voice that constantly pushes me to meet higher and higher standards. Unrelenting. The stress is constant. My Punitive Parent is a bastard. This is what I recognize as the part of me that tells me I’m worthless. In its most extreme this is where I cut and abuse myself. One aspect of my cutting anyways as I have many reasons I’ve do this. I can’t count the times I’ve taken a blade to my skin because I felt I let myself down, did something wrong and deserved to be punished. This has almost an immediate gratification aspect to it at least. The other is pervasive. I’m not sure which is more dangerous.
Healthy Adult Mode:
1. Yay you’re healed mode! Or at least just as capable of dealing with life in the way your average joe would with a more integrated sense of self. This mode is really the goal of therapy. What you work towards and try to strengthen.
It’s obvious to me why something as complicated as Borderline Personality Disorder takes so long to really manage. It’s like a battle between different sides of your psyche! When the Punitive Parent takes out their anger on the Vulnerable Child, the Detached Protector jumps to withdraw the person from harm. Each of these aspects presents in their own way and triggers unique dysfunctional coping mechanisms. And that’s just one combination of how the mind interacts with itself. I don’t know about you, but I can see why people need to get degrees in this stuff to really get a handle on it. The mind is intensely involved and not easily dissected.
But we’re gonna try. I’ll be looking at each of these modes more in depth. I can’t say whether this approach is “right” but for me, being able to take a look at each aspect, seeing how I relate to them personally… it at least gives me insight into myself. Understanding is what I’m all about here.