|This made me giggle|
- Intense unstable relationships in which the borderline always ends up getting hurt. Gunderson admits that this symptom is somewhat general, but considers it so central to BPD that he says he would hesitate to diagnose a patient as BPD without its presence.
- Repetitive self-destructive behavior, often designed to prompt rescue.
- Chronic fear of abandonment and panic when forced to be alone.
- Distorted thoughts/perceptions, particularly in terms of relationships and interactions with others.
- Hypersensitivity, meaning an unusual sensitivity to nonverbal communication. Gunderson notes that this can be confused with distortion if practitioners are not careful (somewhat similar to Herman’s statement that, while survivors of intense long-term trauma may have unrealistic notions of the power realities of the situation they were in, their notions are likely to be closer to reality than the therapist might think).
- Impulsive behaviors that often embarrass the borderline later.
- Poor social adaptation: in a way, borderlines tend not to know or understand the rules regarding performance in job and academic settings.
For those not in the know, the DSM IV is the experts guide into madness. It is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Illness. This is what psychiatrists, thereapists, councilors, doctors, etc. reference in order to pinpoint a diagnosis and ultimately, bill your insurance company.
First up on the DSM Checklist for BPD is:
1.) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
Abandonment issues. If there’s one thing that makes us sound like clingy, lonely, emo-kids, it’s probably this. Someone never loved us enough not to leave. Did not see us worth the effort to stick it out for. So how do you keep people from leaving? You crawl under their skin until you are so fused with their being there is no longer the chance of escape. False.
At least in my experience, it’s easier to not get too attached in the first place. Becoming too attached is a recipe for hurt, disaster and disappointment. That’s not to say that it doesn’t happen. Some days it seems inevitable.
Even small very reasonable seperations can cause anger or fear. Make you question yourself, doubt yourself, make you think you’ve done something wrong. What is it about me that isn’t good enough to spend time with? I understand you need had a last minute meeting but what is it about me that makes me less important that you would break our plans? Don’t even consider large things. I’m losing the time I would have spent with you, does tha mean I am losing you too? Rage. Hurtful words. Anger is my emotion. Anger at being used because clearly up until this point you have just been using me when you didn’t really think I was good enough to do anything with.