Gone Fishin’

Ok. Not really. I don’t fish. But I am going on vacation for the next 8 or 9 days. I’ll be off camping, crafting, drinking and dancing with next to no electricity and even less internet. If the opportunity presents and I can think of something to post I’ll pop on, otherwise I hope you’re all still with me when I get back. I have some really thought provoking material to present you with and a few fun stories just to shake it up.
I do journal while I’m on vacation so if anyone is interested, when I get back I’ll post day by day musings and adventures over on my other blog.
In the mean time, take care! Be good to yourselves. Don’t leave me! I’ll be back! 

Be Mindful. Be Still.

I’ve never been much of a yoga fan, but since I started working at the Laboratory I do yoga on lunch every Wednesday. My body is fatigued. My brain is exhausted. I can barely  sit upright, and yet…
It’s a very mellow exercise. Not strenuous. Calming for a turbulent mind.
As rushed and as hectic, as tired and exhausted as I am, I go. I change out of my work clothes for an hour. Slip into the cool room lit only by sun through partially curtained windows and I wait. I lie down on my mat, allow the cool air to wash over me and listen as the instructor puts on quiet, peaceful music.
We start with basic stretches, gradually progressing to yoga poses, and the cool down. We conclude with meditation and then lying down in corpse pose.
I allow my mind to roam freely, flitting where it will, until my thoughts are released and I am blissfully blank.
I go back upstairs and change into my work clothes to return to my office.
The calm stays with me.
My entire body feels lighter, a little more energy… at peace.
There will always be things to return to, but rarely are they ever so pressing as we perceive them. It’s important to take time to relax, be mindful, and be still.   

Family – Borderline Personality Disorder Facts and Statistics Part 6

My posting has been pretty erratic this week. I took a week off between the last job and the new job to give myself a break. When I’m not trying to avoid work and can actually do things that don’t make me want to strangle my boss I guess the lack of structure is, well, a lack of structure. Moving on…

– ERD (borderline personality disorder) can be extremely hard on families.  Families need support.

Mostly I just feel this needs reiterating. I’ll be doing fully separate posts on this. When I was younger and really just starting on this turbulent terror that is BPD I was really, really hard on my family. Fortunately they love me a lot, and never gave up on me. I know there were times I pushed them to the edge and I didn’t deserve their love, but they were always there.  They are the absolute strongest support system I have, even though I now live over 500 miles away from them. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have their love and support. I can’t even begin to stress how important it is to have people willing to stick by you. Especially when it can be so difficult. Frankly I’m surprised I didn’t push them all into counseling. My entire family is very close and I’m thankful they had each other to rely on, to lean on.

– Patients reported significantly higher rates of psychiatric disorders in their families in general, especially 
anxiety disorders, depression, and suicidality.

Well, I can’t deny this from my family history. On my father’s side, my grandfather was an alcoholic, died of Alzheimer’s. My grandmother was bipolar. On my mom’s side of the family: don’t know about my grandfather, but he died of Alzheimer’s too. My grandmother was schizophrenic. My mom I’m sure has some kind of anxiety disorder. My brother is depressive. My sister is bipolar. My dad seems to have made it safely to sanity, though I’m sure I pushed that to the edge at times.

It’s important to know family history. It helps pin point what factors may influence your own mental health and provide a more accurate diagnosis. At the very least, it might help prepare you for signs to look out for. My family’s mental health never concerned me so much as their physical health, but in retrospect it would have helped me more had I paid attention. Knowing the whole medical history is good to keep in mind. My family also has a history of alcoholism (grandfather) which I need to watch out for. Heart attacks/heart disease/strokes… these are all things that I can act to prevent though diet and exercise and not smoking (yeah yeah I’m quitting, eventually, when my sanity can support it).  I’ve been strict vegetarian for 18 years, and I exercise at least 6 days a week = an hour of cardio + weight training. Generally speaking I live a very healthy lifestyle. I’ve always known these things were necessarily to live a functional and healthy life. Knowing family mental histories is no different.