Companion Blog


I haven’t written much in a very long while, though I did update yesterday.

The original blog is here: Link

There is significantly more content on that site.



After Tomorrow it’ll all be over!

For many of us this is the end of an old year and the beginning of a new one. Not for me mind you, my New Years is Oct. 31st, but still this is the end of the holiday season in general, and I for one couldn’t be more stoked. Yay no more holidays!

I hope everyone has a much happier and healthier 2012!

And if not, hey! The world’s supposed to end anyways. Enjoy!

It’s the most Wonderful Time of the Year…

Frankly I’d be happy with not homicidal

And by “wonderful” I mean “stressful”. As much as I hate to do this because I have a lot of stuff I want to talk about, I may have to take the next few days off from blogging. And believe me, I would much rather be blogging than what I’m going to be doing. The downside of having a family 500 miles away is that there’s a lot of travel time involved and no one to do the driving for me. ::sigh::

But don’t worry! When I come back I’ll have a ton of topics and whatnot for you =)

I do so hope that you all have a very merry whateverthehell you celebrate!


One year Anniversary!

It’s a very special day for me here at Beyond the Borderline Personality! One year ago today I started this blog. Happy Anniversary to me!
Growing up the way that I did I was always hyperaware that I had some pretty significant problems. From the time I was in my mid-teens I had done a lot of research into figuring out what was wrong with me. I came to two conclusions: 1.) I was Major Depressive, and 2.) I had Borderline Personality Disorder. As it turns out, I’m a pretty smart woman (also modest). However when I wanted to look deeper into BPD I kept turning up the same limited information over and over again. What’s more, very little of what I found were personal accounts that I could relate to or really gave me an idea of the things I was experiencing. This was really frustrating, especially since I refused therapy and medication until just a couple years ago.
After my official diagnosis I decided that in order to help gain a better understanding and awareness of my disorder I needed better references so I set out to gather as much information as humanly possible on this disorder AND compile it all in one location. My blog! I figured I couldn’t be the only one out there frustrated with limited information. And I’m nowhere near to done yet. I haven’t even finished covering the things that I expected to cover in the last 6 months let alone what I want to cover into the future. So what’s on the agenda for the upcoming year?
          Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorders: A study in comparisons and contrasts
          Empathy and Borderline Personality
          Family Support
          Self-Harm – A deeper look
          Other types of therapy like DBT (though I’m taking a break from therapy talk for a while after I finish this Schema Therapy run).
          Emotional Suppression and Isolation
          Borderline Infidelity and Commitment
          Avoiding Rejection
          + a hell of a lot more
I have a lot of questions from Readers that I think will be very insightful. I’ve also had a request or two into some of the backstory with Friend and Evil-Ex. I may even venture deep into my dark closet and shake out a few more of my own skeletons for you.
It’s funny. I post 5 – 7 days a week (usually 5).  I’m always afraid that I’m going to run out of things to write about. I also worry that I’m not getting information out fast enough. One day at a time I suppose.

I’d like to expand my blog and reach more people, but I’ll be honest, I’m not incredibly sure how to do this. If you have any tips or suggestions I’d love to hear them =) I’d also like to have some Guest Posts. If you’re living with BPD/Bipolar/another Personality Disorder or live/help/suffer with someone that lives with any of these and you’d like to share your story, lemme know!
I would run this blog even if I had no one following me, but it’s everyone that stops by that really makes it worth it for me. I’ve had so many people tell me that they appreciate what I’m doing here. Well, I want you to know that I appreciate you being here with me. Borderline is a very lonely disorder. You guys really help make it less so.
Thank you =)
And as always, if you have any Questions, Comments, or just want to say Hello:

You’ve got mail

I just want to say that I love, LOVE LOVE LOVE, getting mail from my Readers. Some people ask for advice, some people tell me how much they relate to what I say, a lot of people tell me their stories, some people tell me that for the first time ever they feel like they’re not alone…. and so much more.

I do my best to provide any kind of answers, advice, guidance, or just a friendly word that I can.

It’s funny, I pour myself into this blog because I want people to know and understand what it’s like, to have that validation that they’re not alone, but sometimes it does feel like I’m spilling myself out into the void. Hundreds, thousands of people “see” me, but I rarely see you (with a few fabulous exceptions). However the ones that do comment, or write me directly, it really does make me feel less alone. I just love to hear from people. Thank you for reading. Thank you for writing.

I really appreciate it. 

Hello world!

Welcome to After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post.

Here are some suggestions for your first post.

  1. You can find new ideas for what to blog about by reading the Daily Post.
  2. Add PressThis to your browser. It creates a new blog post for you about any interesting  page you read on the web.
  3. Make some changes to this page, and then hit preview on the right. You can always preview any post or edit it before you share it to the world.


In full on hurricane preparation mode currently. I may or may not have electricity/interwebs for the next few days as the storm is beginning to hit us. It won’t be too bad until late tonight/early tomorrow but in case I don’t post for a few days…. blame Irene, not the fact that I’ve been so preoccupied I can barely focus on typing.


Regularly Scheduled Program…

And we’re back!

I’m back from my vacation and let me tell you, it was, time off.  It was both a complete escape from reality and not what I needed at the same time. I shopped, danced (though not as much as I’d expected), drank, acquired a stalker and accomplished nothing artistically. I actually came home a little early and just hid from the world, which was what I needed. Perhaps more on that later. Getting back to the real world has been one of the hardest things. I’ve almost completely avoided the internet and submerged myself in books and escapism. Now, however, it’s time to get back to my schedule and put a bit more structure back in my life.
I just wanted to say hi, and I’m back, and I’ll have another post up later this morning/afternoon.
::waves:: Hope everyone’s week has treated them well!

Please, Allow me to Introduce Myself (Again)

Hello, I’m Haven.

As you’ve probably already guessed by joining me here, I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder. This blog is the documentation of my struggle, my self-awareness, the information I gather and the understanding I hope to provide. My world is, different. It’s a challenge. To most people that know me, not only do I appear to live a double life, but it feels like I live 3 or 4; shifting depending on the situation and how my very volatile moods may swing. An angel and a devil (without the funny Christian connotations), I am both, often at the same time; one big ball of tumbled craze, rage, and ecstasy.  

I have struggled with this disorder and the co-morbid symptoms and signs I display for most of my life. Finally, finally, I have chosen to seek help to stop the hurting, internally and externally. Sometimes my thoughts are calculated and cool, others they whirl and race, I hope that what time you spend with me will be informative and inspirational. The symbol of my journey I have imprinted on my body. As mentioned over at My Own Private Idaho ( thank you for  the lovely write up I very much appreciate it!) you can read about the very real dedication I have come to embrace in my life which I represent in permanent ink. Like my journey, it is a work in progress. I am not what you call conventional, by any means.

Nothing by halves.  Take the world by the throat and wring all the life out of it you can. You only get the one. 
Welcome. Thank you for joining me. 

Too much

Sometimes life is just too much. I don’t want this one anymore. It’s too hard. Too sad. Too pointless. I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t want any of this anymore.

I’m going to the movies with my Lady Friend tonight. I’ll smile and pretend everything is ok. But it’s not. It feels like everything is over. There’s nothing more for tomorrow.

I’m tired. So tired. I don’t want to always be so tired.